Family Tree

Cowboy Up

I'm more emotional than I oughta be. I worry about everything, everything. I'm scared all the time. Even when I'm happy.. maybe the most when I'm happy. I get so, so sad.. and so mad, and I dunno what to do with those feelings cause they ain't nice. I stuff them down deep. There are things that bother me, that shouldn't.. and things I take personally, that aren't personal at all. Someone says something vague, and I analyze it into the ground. Someone's upset, I'm convinced I must have done something. Someone says my name, and I brace for the worst. I often tell me to get over myself. I know not everything is about me. But the fears.. the anxieties, they're real, and I can't help how I feel. Nobody can, unless they're a Vulcan. Sometimes I wish I was a Vulcan.

There's lots of days where all I want to do is cry, but I don't cause boys is sposed to cowboy up. And there's other days where I just want to disappear, but I dunno how to do that trick. I'm afraid to say something wrong, so I say nothing. I'm afraid to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, so I stay away. I open my heart and then I scrabble like a dog on a waxed floor, desperate for a piece of steady ground, and expecting at any moment to lose what's under me.

Woot!

I found something else to do! I filled out my profile. I added it to my sidebar for easy linkage. Yay \o/

And BTW...

I've enabled comments o.O I dint realize they weren't enabled. So yeah :D

So??

So I think I've done all the techy stuff that I possibly can to this journal. I've designed my own layout. I got bored pretty quick with my silly playlist so I mades one with a mix of my tunes. I guess I ought to get to the matter of actually writing in my now geeked-out journal. There's nothing else to be done with it!

Nevy and Cree call me things like punkin and big guy. I dint used to be a fan of nicknames. I would ask people to use my name. I even went through a phase where I insisted everyone used my full name, Joshua, and not shorten it to anything cause I dint even like Josh. But when Nevy and Cree call me cute little nicknames, I just love it. Of course, if they called me Butt Nugget I would probably love that too. They can call me anything they want, and I will love it.. just as long as they keep calling.

Rockin my iPod

I copied a nifty ipod applet from Jayden's blog, and I made a silly playlist! Fun times, fun times...

Sunday is NOT Snapshot Day!

I changed my mind about Sunday snapshots cause, I never member to do sumthin at the same time every week. It's a good thing they only make those "Days of the Week" undies for girls cause, me wearing them = FAIL. I'd have Tuesday's shorts on Saturday, Monday's shorts on Friday.. the whole world would fall into chaos. Anyway, here's some pics.

I was trying to chillax like Nevy, but my legs weren't long enuff to put on the bench cause.. I'm short.

This is me and my buddy Cal, hanging out at his place. He lives in a orphanage but he's got it purdy guud there! His Toy Story room is awesome.

I'm drivin a train! Nevy took me to a railroad park and we rode trains all around the whole world.

You never know when ya might make a new friend, even just by accidentally falling into the ocean!

Sunday is Snapshot Day

Each Sunday I will try to post a handful of snapshot from that week. Here's this week!

Seven's not too big :D

At school with Keirsten

Being an A+ Student

Lil Batman secures the home base perimeter!

Holy smokes, it's Fullsize Batman! :O

Morning cartoons and a mini box of cereal <3

Journaling Topic: What if all the streets turned into rivers?

If all the streets turned into rivers, I would use my kayak to go places. I could paddle anywhere I want. I would have to watch out for bigger boats! They leave wakes behind them that can tip over a little kayak. If someone dint have a boat, I would give them a ride.

Right before leaping..

Thinking I might be getting adopted kinda feels like standin' on the diving board about to jump in backwards. I  know there's a safe landing under my feet, but I may as well be standing on the edge of a cliff for how hard my heart is beating.. how thin the air feels. They say if you jump right in, then the shock is over in a second, and the water feels fine. I'm the kinda kid who gets in at the steps.